The moment of truth

I can sense that I really hate him now.. before I met him I knew I do not really believe or wanted to go into rs puzzle. Rs is a puzzle ... it can be solved only if both parties willing to do it.

I believe in him .. and I really put in all I can in it.. yet all I receive is hurt... now I can really know that I do not believe in rs ...

No matters it is forever ... do not wish to get back ... the part that hurts me a lot. The part where I wish it had never happen. Just wanted to leave and put my belongings there and never take them back .. because it hurts .. really!!.

Specially when I walk pass the location we went through. The memories appear completed.. I thought I had managed to press alt delete.  But it just did not leave me alone... at that moment I really knew. I really love u a lot.

Yes maybe time can pass everything. But I will have a feeling that the knife had been press onto my heart. And its blooding. Freaking bleeding....

Tears drop immediately when parveen asking abt u ytd .....
It keep dropping non stop its not up to my control ... feeling so miserable after that ... totally affected my mood ... hais

Expect that I can forget u ... but I realise I really can't!!!

Today talking to one of my friend, he ignore his gf and talk to other girls ... due to some disputes ... if u can solve the problem now, dun hold on
It will b better if u send some concern rather than u ignore and acting nth happen yet still giving cold shoulder ...

Hope they will b fine after chatting with each other ^^

Ytd went out ... feel so great to b single .. at least I dun need report to anyone ... but feel sad ... 莫名的失落
开始不会一直想你, 也许是对的。。。 我现在很幸福一直有朋友围绕。担心因为我不笑了。。。

我现在远远望着你 也够了

Saw ur name I will feel the pain ...
Saw ur post I will start to get worry ...
I wanted to remove u .. but whenever I saw ur friends the more hurt I get ... u can call me silly or losing my pride .. but I really useless on this rs ..
And I am tired of it :(

Wish u r here is not longer useful ... just wish I can b alone ... at least I cant c ur name ur face and dream of u

:(

Its 2 weeks from that day... guess u able to carry on with ur life ....
Accepting it is like a need now ... there isn't any turnback ... just look at u from far away .. u will never be the one again ...

It is real that u really dont need me :(

Acting strong like I always do ... dun wish to let anyone c my weakness ... it make me feel bad ...

only u that make me feel I am who I am ... surrounded with guys does not make me special .. it only makes me think u more ..

Such a useless me :(

If today we are still tgt, its 1 yr and 2mths le ... but it ended 10 days ago .. the feeling is so suxs when u dun reply whatsapp too

R u trying to make me forget abt u ?

Deleted him in fb ... and now .. I feeling so regretted ... he never accept it :(

I should not have deleted him :( he cant b removed

他好像是我的精神支柱。。。
他不再理我,我能做什么呢

Decided going to put all to the end and fullstop.

Not going to carry on destroying myself, hungry I will eat, tired I will go slp... even woke up with u in my dreams .. I will slower remove it ...

Moving on w/o u isnt that hard.. the hard thing is deleting... no memories can b deleted so easier .. it can also slower fade off ..

Making myself busy with all the gatherings with alvin, ann nee the 6s and all other friends ...

Putting them as impt as u like before

Going cck to pass ks something for u ... this is the only thing I can do for u now ...
I tried and tried, now I wanted to bury u deeply.. yet u come into my dreams, walking around I will also saw ur shadow ...

Good job, u done well .. it managed to destroy me slower ..

So hope I can really control delete u away :'(

唱着唱着一个人想着一个人。。。 眼泪也一滴一滴的流下
Say is always easier .. but how can I remember faster. 把上痛变成减少 笑容变多 希望加倍变少。
那么我的失望也会变少

Luckily he isnt u

What a joke... ytd went to sea auquarium with kor and zhi han .. having lots of laughter... still hoping that u r here with me :(

I still remember u told me that there is a girl went to sea aquarium with u before... u got a good impression of her.. but she isnt a singaporean hence the rs did not managed to begin with ...
When I go into the sea aquarium, I feel that the atmosphere is different... thinking of the pictures you took with her, the pictures she took for u.. I can imagine it ... yeah it is kind of stupid ... I should not leave the memories of u and another girl in that situation ... should have say yes !! I wan to create new memories with u at the sea aquarium to overtake hers ...
Kind of dumb.. if time goes back, I will go with u again .. to create our own memories
on my way home, I saw a lot of guys that look alike  of u ... like ur split image ... keep telling myself he isnt u ...
one of the guy holding another gurl ... hugging and kissing when they going down the escalator ... I dun know what to do if he is you ... my brother keep telling me .. that isnt u ... call me to close my eyes and relax ...
After closing my eyes ... I realised that guy has no sense of fashion ... the way he dress isnt up to standard .. not even half of u ... hahahas

It really give me a shock.. but luckily he isnt u

Ytd dream dao u ask to patch back ... randomly feel so happy .. its a sweet dream .. but all dreams got to end after u woke up :(

Woke up saw tagged got message ... make me miss u even more :( hais ... so useless me

its 5 days le ... my life still going around abt u ... no stop asking... no stop of ppl telling me to cheer up ...

Hais ... if they dun ask maybe I can forget faster

Finally really think twice le ...

Managed to control delete him ... no matters in fb instagram or even his phone no

Putting him far away from him ... I believe his friends will take care of him well ...
Now its my turn to change .. putting my sorrows aside ... focus and fight for my results ... I believe I can do it :)

Fighting ^^

Let him go

Today went back to sch ... expect nobody will ask me abt the situation ... but my grp mates, my poly mates all asking me if I am okay...
Great that they know that asking me what happen will make me uneasy and sad ... despite they do not have how to comfort me but their questions make me feel comfortable ...
Keeping me accompany most of the time ... do not wish I am alone ... thanks friends that is really great no matters is my poly mates my grp mates my sisters or any random friend ...

I always find it silly for a girl to b stuck in the past rs ... but I know how the girl feels now ... it is really sucks ....
Thinking life without him will make me tears ... selfie came in with an empty space beside me ... it just shows how much I wish he is beside me too ..

do he really feel miserable too? Do he really upset? Do he really taking care of himself well?
Do he remember to drink more water?
Do his friend remember what I given to him ( responsibility) and do them well?
Is he fine without me? I really hope all of the above he did ... I really truely miss him .. yes I wont regret saying ... I love him a lot ... giving up on this rs is not a need but a must if he feels better ...

I know I wont feel better .. but if in this rs he will feel easy without me ... all I can do is to let go ...

After a long time from the previous post ... I am back to single ... had a relationship closely to 1 yr and 2 months with the guy who I said in the previous post ...
after a long period of time, he said he dun love anymore ... yes .. u hear me right !!! He dun love me anymore
that is the reason we broke up .. that is the reality and the pain I been suffering ... keeping myself strong and independent again ...
It look great by saying .. but it really hurts a lot by saying ...
my tears roll down my cheeks everytime I saw him
my tears roll down my cheeks again whenever I saw him posting sth in the social network ..
I cant stop it ...
I can feel my weight will b affected ... no appetite for the past few days ... mainly 2 meals for 4 days ... yeah ... in the range I will might need to admit to hospital ..

I receive lots of encouragement from my friends specially my 6 sisters .... thanks a lot ...
I will try to get back my bubby noisy mode ...
hopefully soon ... but if I dun .. pls give me more time ... he is someone I cant give up . He is the first one I I willing to say I do ..
but he cant keep his promise anymore .. I still hope I able to keep my promise to him anytime he needs ... anytime he needs me I will b around ...
passing the responsibility back to his friend .. still thanks him for accepting it ... and sorry for the trouble ..

If any point of time he ask me a patch I will b willing to ... I break my vow .. I will break my riles for him too